I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
