Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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