Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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