Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
