just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
