And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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