Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
