it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize