Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
