Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
