I want to stick my p in your. b.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize