just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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