I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
