OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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