I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
