is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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