you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
