Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
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