i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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