So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize