I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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