dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
