I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
