My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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