How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
