I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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