When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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