it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
