it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
