I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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