He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
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