dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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