I'm really into asian looking animals
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
