Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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