I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
