I'm drive I can fine osifer
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
