Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
