Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
