Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize