sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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