Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
nutella sex= disaster
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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