this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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