I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
