I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
