it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
