u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
