Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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