my mouth tastes like poor choices
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I have post one night stand depression
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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