I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
