Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
another moral hangover. fuck.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I enjoy the company of your penis
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
