I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
His nipple licking is glorious
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