Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
