; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize