OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
