so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
