I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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