I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
