You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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