Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
