I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
