i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
