the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
