question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
